Self worth. Why is it so hard for so many people to realize that they are important, needed, and valuable? Why do we seek value and happiness from others when it comes from within? Why do we feel less than what we actually are? Where is our confidence?
Just a few questions to ponder…..
This is a topic that I struggle with but it’s been on my mind so why not be authentic and share it with you? I was talking to my mom recently about blogging (see her’s here) and we started to discuss ideas for each of our blogs. I told her to be herself and talk about anything and everything pertaining to herself. A blog is the most “me” centered thing out there, however, posts have the ability to help people- whether it’s something little like finding a new face mask or something life changing.
It’s important to know your worth and carry yourself with confidence. At times, this can be so incredibly difficult. We all struggle with it. For the longest time, I was allowing others to dictate my value. How incredibly stupid of me. Being the natural people-pleaser I am, I allowed others to walk all over me and diminish my self esteem and confidence in the process. I let others talk down to me and I never stood up for myself. My family sensed this and would point it out to me, but I was too caught up in making others happy instead of worrying about myself.
So how do you overcome these things? The best way is to cut toxic people out of your life. This can be hard. Very hard. Sometimes you have to let friendships and relationships go because they are bringing you down, instead of building you up. Trust me, we’ve all been there. You have to get out. It’s the only way. You can’t keep negative influences around you and expect to be positive. It doesn’t work. Garbage in, garbage out as my parents always say.
You need to build yourself up. Whenever a negative thought comes into your head, you need to replace it with a good one. Turn “I’m not good enough” into “I am MORE than good enough.” Turn “I’m so ugly” into “I am the most beautiful human.” Celebrate your differences. No one could be you. No one else was designed to be you.
I think I finally started realizing my self worth when I took off the mask I was hiding behind, my makeup. This summer I did a lot of reflecting. I stopped wearing as much makeup and focused on who I was as a person and what I believed in. I was away from toxic influences. I was at the place I feel closest to God- the beach. Just sitting and enjoying the beautiful scenery gets me to think, reflect, and pray. Slowly, I overcame all of the obstacles- the “I’m not good enough” thoughts. I became my own source of happiness and value. I realized just how much I’m worth.
People often write themselves notes on their bathroom mirror or any place they look frequently. I don’t really like this. It never really worked for me. You can write anything from motivational quotes to Bible verses. Anything that is going to help you. I have a motivational app that sends me random quotes throughout the day. Not all of them are great or applicable, but it’s a good start. I also have a Bible app that sends me the Verse of the Day at a certain time each day. These are encouraging reminders for myself. Find what works for you.
Finding your self worth and gaining confidence isn’t an overnight process. There will be days that are the worst. You just have to keep pushing on. Make a little bit of progress every day and cut out those who aren’t healthy influences. Stop comparing yourself to others and focus on self love. Stand up for yourself and your beliefs and don’t let anyone tell you that you aren’t good enough. Each one of us has a purpose. Find yours and go after it.